Cody

Tonight at 7 pm my friends and I will be going to Cody's memorial. Tomorrow is his funeral. I can not go to the funeral...I am just not ready yet how ever I am going tonight. It is so strange we will all be standing around talking about our friend who just a few days ago was with us. Strange Cody, just 17 will be in a casket.

Work is terrible. Every one deals with death so differently. I do not want to talk about it. Some of the people go back and smoke in silence at the back of the restaurant. Some of the girls cluster around the drink station talking incessantly about how they can't believe it. Some of us talk quietly then change the subject. Some will not believe it or hear it.

I walk up to my table and the room spins. The 2 top I have is looking at me strangely. I can't remember I am supposed to great them and present our fish panel and then ask for a drink order. It should be second nature to me but instead all I can think of is Cody and Josh. Finally the girls say we want a coke and a sweet tea. I mumble an apology and hurry away to retrieve the drinks. The rest of the night I do not even remember..it is like my brain went on auto pilot. My body and mouth doing everything I was supposed to but I could not tell you a thing I did or said. I do know a table walked out on me but i was to out of it to say anything. I just paid for the food rather than getting a write up and kept on auto pilot. Life on auto-pilot is much easier...